I look for an opening where I might fit in. I walk around and around, as the circle of my family grows tighter and tighter. They spin right, I spin left. ‘You left us.’ ‘We don’t understand you.’ ‘Why have you come back?’ I hear the hurt in their voices. There are no immediate answers that come to me that would not hurt them more. Because they wouldn’t understand. I wander around and around until they get used to me again and then I realize that my place in this circle of my family is on the outside. Walking in circles.